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Ssshhhhh … you wanna know a secret?

May 26, 2011 9:05 am

I have been feeling really good the past few days, no secret. However, suffering intermittent cofeelings of guilt and regret. If I could have experienced this months earlier, years earlier, and trusted it (as ephemeral as it is, like any moment) more, made better use of it … Not a “turn back the clock” kind of thing, but a “you know that thing we lost that made us a little happier? i found some of it under the cushions of the couch, and i’d like to share it with you now” kind of thing. Only, she’s gone, and it can’t be shared, not in any really useful way. Not that things are going so well, because they really aren’t, objectively … just that I feel … unaccountably optimistic, and that’s the kind of energy you want to share with someone you love, especially someone you owe because you weren’t there like you might have been for so long … Anyway … going out for my walk. Have a good day.

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