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Transcript, from a series of live txts

May 19, 2011 2:37 pm

[9:26am] Trial, hr 1. Attny shows documentation1 2 prosecutor, who doesn’t give a shit. Waiting.

[9:35am] Trial, hr 1, pt 2. Arresting officer states 2 atty defendant was ‘extremely intoxicated,’ ‘upset,’ then ‘calmed down l8r.’ does not object 2 reducing chg 2 … Minor mis d me nor2.

[9:46am] Trial, hr 1, pt 3. Atty informs dfndnt prosqtr does not object 2 minr misdmenr. Will b long wait 4 trial.

[10:00am] Trial, hr 1, pt 4. Ct 4goes trial in lite of reduced chg. Dfndnt pleads no contest 2 disordrly cnduct, ordrd 2 pay $45 fine, court costs. No cmpulsory AA attndc

[10:10am] Trial, hr 2, pt 1. Atty n4ms dfndnt cnviction cn b xpunged3 in 6mo 2 1 yr. Dfndnt pays $82.50 and gets the fuck out, mthrfckrs! The end.

[10:15am] Trial, postscript. Proseqtr filld in many holes in dfndnts memry4. Dtails over drinks. No, no,strike that. Ice cream nE1?

1Documentation included three pages of documented attendance at AA meetings, one letter from therapist at intensive outpatient program documenting voluntary participation in and graduation from program, and one letter from former sponsor in my Very Big American City documenting several years of voluntary meeting attendance, 12 Step work, and quality sobriety.
2Original charge is “voluntary public intoxication.” Reduction to minor misdemeanor means that charge will no longer be alcohol-related, thus pose no threat to nursing career, and that probation and compulsory attendance at AA meetings pose no threat to freedom of movement, thus freeing defendant to leave Black Hole of a City and move back with family @ Hometown.
3An expungement would seal the conviction, making it as though it never occurred. This could be helpful, or at least comforting.
4Report from arresting officer went something like this: “Received a call from employee at [drinking establishment] stating extremely intoxicated person refused to leave when asked. When officer arrived, employee indicated intoxicated person had left, headed across the street in a southwesterly direction. Officer found person in question standing in the middle of the street staring at traffic. On approach, suspect yelled ‘F— you! F— you!’ several times at officer, whereupon officer called for backup.” I remembered none of this, and had to make an effort to keep from laughing while standing in front of the judge. Plus, where was the part where I made a joke about one officer’s mother, and then complimented him on his professionalism for not beating me? Maybe that didn’t actually happen. It’s hard to tell.

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